38 yer olds are good kisserssss
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
