i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You made out with two different species that night
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
