ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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