addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
