what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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