Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
