I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
