It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
