The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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