if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
