Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
