He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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