There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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