You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
