I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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