Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
