Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
