Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
