the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
