there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
