38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
