i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
