my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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