I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
