i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
