im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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