Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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