i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
