$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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