he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
