Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
