So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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