Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
True strength comes from lack of pants
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
