Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
