Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
