we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
No...this little piggys going to the bar
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Randomize
