My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
