i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
