Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
