As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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