what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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