Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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