Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
