why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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