you guys were way drunker than both of me
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
