8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he was CRYING into my vagina
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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