Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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