i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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