I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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