I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
