I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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