honey bunches of taint.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
