had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
